Do you have a romantic human in your life right now, but are fed up of the constant onslaught of plastic, throwaway tat that comes with Valentine’s Day? I know I am. A few weeks ago, a friend sent me this picture of literally the worst example of awful, completely unnecessary Valentine’s gifts:
Ok, so let’s break down exactly what’s wrong with this. One, it’s a really lame gift. Who actually wants to receive bog roll for any occasion? Not me! You’d have to be feeling pretty passive aggressive to even consider offering this as a present. I mean really, WTF?
Two, individual plastic wrapping. I know, not all individually wrapped loo roll is “bad” loo roll: Who Gives A Crap is individually wrapped in paper, the loo roll itself is made of bamboo and they use some of their profits to build toilets in third world countries. But let’s not kid ourselves here: this abomination is none of that.
Three, when it inevitably doesn’t sell, guess where it’s going? Landfill.
Seriously, if you’re the sort of weirdo that is actually considering giving THIS as a gift, just save yourself the quid and send a meme like everyone else. Nobody will thank you for giving them this. Below are some MUCH better options.
7 ways to show your love without buying plastic tat
Cook their favourite meal. This is one of the best ways to say “I love you” in my opinion. What better way is there to express love for one of your favourite humans than by giving them food they love? If you can’t cook, then you could order it or take them out.
Let them know you’re thinking of them. Drop a text while they’re at work asking how their day is going, send them a joke or just remember a shared experience together.
Give them some practical help. Giving someone your time is the ultimate green gift. What are you good at? Do that. If you’re handy around the house, put some shelves up. If you’re good at decorating, paint a room. If you’re a gardener, trim their bushes.
Compliment them. When you compliment or praise someone, it makes them feel good. When you do it regularly, you’ll have a lasting effect on the relationship. You don’t need to over egg it – just tell them they look nice, tea tastes great, or that last night was amazing.
Give them a massage. It doesn’t have to be a full body massage with oils and aromatherapy and what not, although let’s face it, they wouldn’t complain! Just spend a few minutes lovingly rubbing some lotion into their problem spots.
Run them a bath. OMG. What I wouldn’t give to have a hot bath run for me. I know us eco-conscious folk aren’t supposed to, but it’s one of the only vices I have left, damn it! To come home from a journey in the pouring down rain to a nice, hot bath with candles and a towel warming on the radiator would be bliss.
Give them a cwtch. What is a cwtch, you ask? It’s not a hug. It’s not a cuddle. It’s better than both. When you get there, you’ll know.
What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?